Five Things I Learned Today...

I survived my first day of teaching - when I survive the week I'm having a double shot of whisky...* In surviving my first day I have decided to write five things that I learned today.

One - Period five is not a lesson where anything gets learned. Period five is too bloody close to home time for the students to give a rats arse about metaphors, alliteration, rhetorical questions or anything like that. Period five is good for driving a teacher a little batty...

Two - You can plan a lesson to the most finest of details and, on paper, it can look so awesome that it nearly burns your retinas with the levels of awesome it entails but that doesn't matter if your students don't care. If they don't want to learn about film techniques at that precise moment all you can do is cajole and stress the importance of education. (Basically, be flexible in your planning and have a million back ups.)

Three -Try not to get involved in pointless arguments. Example:
Me: Okay class, I'm sending out letters this week to inform your parents...
Student: I get my mail miss so I won't give it to my dad.
Me: (stupidly) I can always phone.
Student: My dad doesn't have a phone miss. (Sniggers)
Me: (Even more stupidly) Well I can always drop by your house and visit.
Student: My dad lives in the street miss.
Me: ...

Four - Girls and boys should be kept separate at all times in (and possibly outside) the classroom. Excessive groping and leering does not aid in getting class work done.

Five - When students actually get what you are saying it makes everything worth it. (Well, today it did!)

*It wasn't that bad, really. I promise.

P.S. I am so bloody knackered that I want to curl up and sleep right now but I was determined to blog because if I don't do some form of writing my head may explode...