Monday, 1 August 2011

Five Things I Learned Today...

I survived my first day of teaching - when I survive the week I'm having a double shot of whisky...* In surviving my first day I have decided to write five things that I learned today.

One - Period five is not a lesson where anything gets learned. Period five is too bloody close to home time for the students to give a rats arse about metaphors, alliteration, rhetorical questions or anything like that. Period five is good for driving a teacher a little batty...

Two - You can plan a lesson to the most finest of details and, on paper, it can look so awesome that it nearly burns your retinas with the levels of awesome it entails but that doesn't matter if your students don't care. If they don't want to learn about film techniques at that precise moment all you can do is cajole and stress the importance of education. (Basically, be flexible in your planning and have a million back ups.)

Three -Try not to get involved in pointless arguments. Example:
Me: Okay class, I'm sending out letters this week to inform your parents...
Student: I get my mail miss so I won't give it to my dad.
Me: (stupidly) I can always phone.
Student: My dad doesn't have a phone miss. (Sniggers)
Me: (Even more stupidly) Well I can always drop by your house and visit.
Student: My dad lives in the street miss.
Me: ...

Four - Girls and boys should be kept separate at all times in (and possibly outside) the classroom. Excessive groping and leering does not aid in getting class work done.

Five - When students actually get what you are saying it makes everything worth it. (Well, today it did!)

*It wasn't that bad, really. I promise.

P.S. I am so bloody knackered that I want to curl up and sleep right now but I was determined to blog because if I don't do some form of writing my head may explode...


  1. Well it sounds like you had a busy day! I'm sure once you get to know the students and how they work things will get easier :)

  2. Here's hoping. It wasn't anywhere as bad as I make it sound. It wasn't easy but it was a real eye opener.

  3. oh the joys of being a teacher! :) Keep on teaching and being awesome! :)

  4. I think Two would probably kill me the worst. And I'm not even a teacher. I just hate when my efforts are completely ignored.

  5. @Zombie - thanks so much. :) That's my plan at the moment...

    @Diego Sousa - yep. It was the thing that made even trying to help the students worth it.

    @A Beer for the Shower - It was pretty soul destroying in a way but at least I know I can think on my feet...and talk the students ears off.

  6. Well I'm sure glad it was a good day. Teachers are the proof of walking saints. I wish you nothing but good luck with this year. I'm sure you'll do fine. You have to have a sense of humor when dealing with kids. Let them know you're a person and not an "authority" figure only.

  7. they call you "miss"? is that a new zealand thing?

  8. @Bouncin' Barb - thanks so much. The sense of humour is a definite otherwise you'd go a little barmy. :)

    @-E- I guess. I haven't encountered it anywhere else. So it's 'miss' even if your a Mrs or Ms. Male teachers tend to be sir though a lot of students are calling them 'Mister' which grates on my ears.

  9. interesting. re your comment: wow, thanks. i'm just flattered that my humble blog came up in conversation in the real world.

  10. @-E- nothing humble about it. I'm thinking of using it in my senior classes, just to open their eyes to new vocab for their exams. Plus, my Head of Department absolutely loves the idea.