Friday, 22 August 2014

I've Been Sick...

One of the things I really don't like doing is sitting and doing nothing. And, this term, I've been forced to do more of that than I would like. For some time I've been having issues with my insides - not to go into too much detail but I've had issues with bowel movements and all that fun stuff. Topping off that I have been having the occasional feelings of dizziness and nausea. I basically haven't been feeling my jovial, quirky, bouncy self.

After finally realising (and being told off by numerous people) that I wasn't actually getting any better I finally made an appointment to see the doctor. For those of you who know me I absolutely hate going to the doctor. I have nothing against doctors nor nurses but having 18 surgeries before you're 18 can make you want to avoid the medical world for a long time. I also had one doctor who blamed everything on my weight. If I had a migraine it was because of my weight. If I had an infection it was because of my weight. If I needed stitches it was because of my weight...

To give a little history on that I've never been what you could call thin. At my heaviest I got up to about 125kgs (275lbs for those non kg people.) But, with a lot of determination and a few silly mistakes I got down to 78/80 kgs (174lbs). I run, I dance, I workout and I eat very healthy. So I am a lot more happy in my body that I have ever been in my whole life. Though I am determined to get down to about 65kgs. For me, I feel that is a good weight. But this will take time and I've always told myself that I didn't get to the heaviest weight in the space of a year so it will take time to get to my goal weight. (I even hate the term goal weight.)

So, I went to the doctor and went through a series of tests. There were traces of blood in my urine on three separate occasions and my iron levels were too high so I have to go back for tests about that. The only thing that came of this is that the doctor is pretty sure that I have IBS. Now, I knew next to nothing about this so I did my own research and I'm still not sure if I am convinced but I have started to change my diet again by reducing a lot of sugars and fructose etc. I'm slowly trying things to see if I have a reaction to them. I'm also on anti spasmodic medication to help with my stomach upsets. So far this has made me feel a little bit more in control of my stomach but time will tell.

Then, yesterday, I woke up sounding worse than Alpha from Up. I have a cough and a runny nose but don't feel sick. Still...

So - I was asked (told) not to come into school to work today. Thus, I'm writing all this down in a way to vent some of my frustrations. I've never liked being sick but I tend to keep going until my immune system tells me off. I realise that I am no good to my students if I keep getting worse because I don't allow myself to get better. However, I don't like not being able to work as I constantly feel the need to be moving. Somewhere along the line I got it into my head that being sick is being lazy...but this only applies to me. Or, maybe I'm just scared that people will judge me and accuse me of faking or being lazy or just not being the best that I can be...and in my rational mind I know this is just me being silly but - well, yeah.

Anyway, this is probably one of the more honest posts that I have done...meaning that I don't like talking to much about myself but maybe this may help me in some way. Now, I'm going to curl up on the couch with my Harry Potter snuggie, a cup of tea and either some Doctor Who  or Batman Arkham City. 

Peace and Pancakes

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