Friday, 1 July 2011

There was shit where?

Warning - I try not to swear in my blog normally but today I'm making a major exception. If you don't like reading curse words do not continue. If you are prone to cursing like a filthy pirate's whore please continue. Also, there is poop in this story...

I work in retail at present until I start teaching. To be more precise, I work in a bookstore. In this bookstore I deal with the magazines, which means I spend a lot of time in a dank back room tearing the covers of magazines and pricing the new ones.*

Yesterday, I rocked up to work, counting down the days until I finish, and wandered out to my little cave. The first thing I notice wasn't that someone had cleaned all the boxes out of my way. Nor was it the fact that it was so cold that I felt like running away. The first thing I noticed was the smell.

I looked at the stock delivery door and swore. Lifting the bar and unlocking the door I pushed it open, hoping for the best but expecting the worse. And there it was...

A big, fucking pile of SHIT. Human Shit. Some arsehole (pun intended) had stumbled round the back of our shop and decided that by our delivery door was the perfect place for a shit. And let me tell you, it was no small mess. I swear, this guy must have been walking fucking sideways if all that came out of his arse. Plus, when I opened the fucking door the shit smeared along the concrete making a perfect fucking shit rainbow on the ground.

What is even more strange was that nestled, almost protectively, around this pile of shit was a pair of jeans!

I really wish I was joking but I had to clean it up. And it gets worse, we don't have any products for cleaning up shit...we're a bookstore, it's not one of our top worries. Paper cuts, yes, but shit... So, about this time yesterday morning I was crouched over a pair of shitty jeans scraping up the larger pieces with two bits of cardboard and some newspaper.

I'm pretty tolerant of most things but I gagged at this. And no, I don't get hazard pay though I think I deserve it.

Until Monday...

P.S. I apologise if you are eating while reading this but it was pretty nasty...
P.P.S - to the guy who actually did this shit - there is a special place in hell for you. I don't even believe in hell but there is a special place just for you.

*So far I don't resemble Gollum but it could happen...being alone in a dank room...


  1. Ick - nasty! That reminds me of the day someone let their toddler into the children's dept without a diaper... Or without a good one. They did a runner leaving us to clean up the mess with plastic bags and newspaper. Luckily, it wasn't as bad as your experience!

  2. It's still just very very wrong. And yours was in store...:( ::*::Shudders::*::

  3. I would have flat out refused to clean it. That is disgusting not to mention unsanitary. People are truly gross.

  4. I know. The only reason I cleaned it was because I didn't want the poor delivery guys to have to step over it. Plus I still had to work out the back and my light OCD would have made it unbearable. :)