My posting may get a little erratic over the next few days as I slowly re-join the world of the employed again. This may or may not be by choice rather than by the huge student loan which is sitting on my shoulder taunting me with the knowledge that I have a BA in English and History - so not really the most employable subjects.
In the meantime I am back at my old job at a bookstore. This is good and bad because I actually really like books and I, honestly, like helping most people. There are, however, some people that I definitely do not like to help so, of course, these people make a beeline for me. I'm starting to wonder if I have a huge neon sign flashing above my head directing these people in my direction. These people being, generally, middle to late aged people who have never worked retail a day in their life. Or, my personal favourite, new mothers.
Before you get on your high horse I will state straight off that 95% of all my customers are lovely, kind and helpful. Then there is the 5% that make me want to repeatedly headbutt a brick wall for twelve hours straight.
There are five types of customers that irk me and I shall list them below.
I like babies as much as the next person - even more so when I don't have to deal with them for longer than a few minutes. Sure your baby is gorgeous and I'm sure that, at 8 weeks he is incredibly advanced for his young age. I'm sure that his first word was discombobulate. But please, don't bring your 4x4 pram into our store and complain loudly that our shelves are too close together. Don't demand to see the manager because we don't have 20 copies of the baby book that you want to gift all your friends. Don't even think of ramming me in the legs with that pram either. Plus, I'm watching your brats to make sure they don't steal anything as they run up and and down the store screaming and pulling books off the shelves...
Too Cool Hipster
I'm so sorry we don't have the latest biography on Che or Noam Chomsky's latest book. Also, we don't have a Starbucks in store. Sorry that our chain bookstore is not 'cool' enough for you. By the way, do you even know who Che is? Do you know that Starbucks is a chain as well? Kinda thought that was the thing you were against?
Middle Aged Women
Oh, you're going to be haughty to me? I'm sorry that I am very much beneath your socio-economic standings. Oh, you want the latest book by Nora Roberts? Sure, if you'll follow me? Oh, sure, you'd rather stay there while I run around like an errand dog? That's fine. I'll bring over every book we have on the art of sushi.
You saw that book on television last week and there was a picture of a dog on it? Do you remember the author? No? All right. Um. Do you remember anything else? No. Sorry, can't help you there. What? You want to speak to my manager. Okay, I'll just get them for you.
Middle Aged Men
Sir, can you please stop staring at my chest. You were after a book? Sir, my eyes are up here. You were after a book about...? Sports? Sir, I'm going to ask one more time, please stop staring at my breasts!
So, you're after that book that was reviewed a month ago by the radio station in the States. No, I'm not aware of it. It's about what? Let me get this straight. You want to know if we have the book about the person who goes to the place where they dance and then they decide to move there? Yeah I'm going to need more to go on. Do you know the author or title? I'm sorry, but our machine does need something a little more precise than that.
These are the five main customers that I rather dislike, though they do make the day interesting and they keep my on my toes. All the while I am smiling like the Cheshire Cat on speed while trying to make a good impression since the company I work for has just been recently taken over, and, although it's just a job, I'd rather not get fired anytime soon.
So, I'm about to relax on my sofa, chuck on a good movie and vege for the rest of the night. Any movie recommendations ?