Thursday, 12 May 2011

In which I talk about fear...

I like to think of myself as a relatively strong minded female. I don't have a fear of spiders, snakes or lizards. I'm not scared of sharks or heights (though I don't like lifts for some odd reason). I'm not scared of breaking a nail or embarrassing myself in public, since that is an everyday event with me. I watch all forms of horror movies and get those fun little fears but nothing that makes me unable to deal with everyday life.

In short, I don't suffer from the fears that some people might have. My sister, for example, is terrified of spiders. Any spider. Even the tiniest baby spider. I have friends who are terrified of birds and flying and everything like that. This is all perfectly normal. Some days I'd like to have a normal fear instead of the irrational ones that I carry around with me.

For a few years now I have been able to say that only three things genuinely scare me. The first one is clowns - which is not irrational since being in a children's ward at a hospital apparently gives clowns the right to terrify young, sick children. The second fear is needles - which I have gotten better with after getting two tattoos. The third is a mixture of death and the fear that reality is not, you know, random but within reason. And none of these are all consuming.

BUT, something happened today that scared the S*@t out of me. I was about to jump into the shower after getting back from the gym when I realised that the bathmat/towel was moving. Not much but it was definitely moving. So, I rubbed my eyes, grabbed a clean towel and my glasses and found twenty little maggots doing their thing on my towel.

I don't scream. Not because I don't want to but because I can't - my throat just brings forth this mighty yelp followed by several curse words and I fling the maggot covered towel out the window into the rain. Then, feeling a little be relieved I have my shower.* I get dressed, a lot quicker than I would usually and decide to go on a hunt because, for the life of my, I can't figure out where they are coming from.

After ten minutes, and the occasional maggot, I finally figure out that they are, literally, falling from the ceiling. From the light socket, to be exact, which leads me to the conclusion that something has gone and died in my roof and...well you know the rest.

So, for the last few minutes I have been sitting here, occasionally shaking my head as the paranoia creeps in. I am remembering a film I watched when I was younger, Phenomena by Dario Argento. There is a scene where Jennifer Connolly's character falls into a pool full of maggots and rotting carcasses...great film if I remember correctly though very strange.

On that note - I will leave you with that disturbing image and wish you all a maggot free day. ** I'm just going to sit here and occasionally check my hair for random maggots...

*Sometimes I worry myself...
** Just to note - maggots don't tend to bother me too much as I am aware of their use in criminology and medicine but seriously...this is just freaky.


  1. ick.

    That is all.

  2. Trust me I agree with you whole heartedly. :*::shivers::*::

  3. Hey! my fear of bird is totally rational.

    But on another note...I feel the need for a shower, well I would if you hadn't just given me another phobia :-)

  4. My evil master plan is slowly working. I swear I'm still twitching...

  5. The post that disappeared and reappeared..spooky...