There was shit where?

Warning - I try not to swear in my blog normally but today I'm making a major exception. If you don't like reading curse words do not continue. If you are prone to cursing like a filthy pirate's whore please continue. Also, there is poop in this story...

I work in retail at present until I start teaching. To be more precise, I work in a bookstore. In this bookstore I deal with the magazines, which means I spend a lot of time in a dank back room tearing the covers of magazines and pricing the new ones.*

Yesterday, I rocked up to work, counting down the days until I finish, and wandered out to my little cave. The first thing I notice wasn't that someone had cleaned all the boxes out of my way. Nor was it the fact that it was so cold that I felt like running away. The first thing I noticed was the smell.

I looked at the stock delivery door and swore. Lifting the bar and unlocking the door I pushed it open, hoping for the best but expecting the worse. And there it was...

A big, fucking pile of SHIT. Human Shit. Some arsehole (pun intended) had stumbled round the back of our shop and decided that by our delivery door was the perfect place for a shit. And let me tell you, it was no small mess. I swear, this guy must have been walking fucking sideways if all that came out of his arse. Plus, when I opened the fucking door the shit smeared along the concrete making a perfect fucking shit rainbow on the ground.

What is even more strange was that nestled, almost protectively, around this pile of shit was a pair of jeans!

I really wish I was joking but I had to clean it up. And it gets worse, we don't have any products for cleaning up shit...we're a bookstore, it's not one of our top worries. Paper cuts, yes, but shit... So, about this time yesterday morning I was crouched over a pair of shitty jeans scraping up the larger pieces with two bits of cardboard and some newspaper.

I'm pretty tolerant of most things but I gagged at this. And no, I don't get hazard pay though I think I deserve it.

Until Monday...

P.S. I apologise if you are eating while reading this but it was pretty nasty...
P.P.S - to the guy who actually did this shit - there is a special place in hell for you. I don't even believe in hell but there is a special place just for you.

*So far I don't resemble Gollum but it could happen...being alone in a dank room...